During these last years, we have learned from each other, we have grown together, we have loved each other and we have fought among ourselves. I still remember when we got married for the first time; all the hope and the faith that we had of being together forever, living happily ever after. We are still living our journey to “happily ever after”, however, a brief separation of only two years in our marriage would challenge the strength and foundation of our friendship and act as a wake-up call to how difficult that trip might be.

The path to healing our relationship was paved with tons of hard work. In any relationship, there will be times when worst ways to break up and throw in the towel; however, I urge you not to give up too soon. You will be surprised at what time and self-reflection can solve. He is your better friend, your teammate and your partner. This is the only person in the world who really supports me.

These tips come from my experience and may indicate things that you probably do not know are driving your spouse away and destroying your marriage

1. Be extraneous to financial matters.

There is almost always a person in a relationship who oversees all financial matters. Stereotypically, this role would fall on the husband, leaving his partner completely oblivious to the state of his financial affairs.

This paradigm can lead to an unbalanced relationship. The wife might end up resenting the husband for being too controlling or upset with money issues and the husband might end up resenting the frivolous expense and happy ignorance of the wife. It is unfair for both parties in a relationship for a person to assume all the stress, risk and responsibility that accompany financial decisions. You are partners who have come together in marriage to build a future and part of that is to share the responsibility of building your financial security.

2. Put your parents or friends in the middle of your relationship:

Two is a party, three is a crowd. As single individuals, it is a common practice for us to share our problems and afflictions with those we love and who love us. Therefore, it is understandable that this is a common mistake that couples make at the beginning of a relationship.

The problem lies in the fact that our family and friends love us so much that they will automatically bat for us, even if we are the ones who are wrong. Not to mention the fact that it is often too easy for us to tell our “version” of the truth that represents us as the sanctified victim and our spouse as the heartless villain.

If you really love your spouse, once you have relieved all your anger and hurt your loved ones, you realize how foolish everything was and it is much easier to go home with an open mind and calmer and forgiving. heart. Not so for your friends and family. You see, they love you truly and deeply, not your spouse. So it’s much harder to forgive, much less forget.

3. Micromanaging him in the little things:

Remember that before becoming one in marriage, they were two independent people with independent thoughts, actions, likes and dislikes. Marriage does not change this. She likes coffee, he prefers beer. She likes sleeping; He gets up at dawn. These same wonderful differences that made you fall in love with each other can often be the same things that separate you. At the beginning of a romance everything is sun and rainbows. You would not believe that your love could bother you, much less drive you to the limit of sanity.

4. Not being on the same page in big things:

Often, we can be so busy obsessing and micromanaging the little things in our relationships that we forget to address important things until it is too late and we are blind when our partner is not on the same page as we are.

These issues can be very stressful and difficult to discuss and most people have very strong opinions and do not want to compromise. Because of this, when establishing a relationship, many people choose to ignore and avoid these issues in an attempt to avoid conflicts. However, I urge you to avoid this trap because these issues will invariably arise in your relationship; You may discover that not only is it not on the same page, but you are not even reading the same book.

5. Not trusting your husband:

If you think your spouse is cheating, they probably are. If you have not thought about it and you continue to suspect or do not trust them, they will invariably deceive you.

Because they fear they may be cheating, they will naturally withdraw physical affection. Then, your doubts, fears and lack of confidence will filter more in your relationship and will manifest when you snoop on your phone, questioning them about every aspect of your day and acting in a jealous and territorial way to all members of the opposite sex.

Trust is fundamental for a healthy relationship. Nobody can feel truly loved in a relationship in which they know they do not trust. Eventually, they will gravitate naturally to another person to find that love and trust.

6. Thinking that men read minds:

One of the main elements that led to the separation between my wife and me was the lack of communication. There were times when I said or did things that bothered her, however, as a passive person, she repressed it and did not tell me. If you do not share your pain or feeling when asked, you can never reach a point in common with your spouse. Which means you will never find healing. Do not respond with anything when something bothers you.

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